Dragon Lady

She is simply known as the dragon lady. Possibly a female version of the Prof, but deadlier.

On Mondays, dragon lady goes through a list of patients in the gynae theatre. I almost ate my heart out when I found out that I had to examine one of her patients.

My partner had left me alone to face dragon lady. She was too scared to even go near the operating theatre. Some friend huh.

It was eerie silent as the theatre staff awaited the arrival of the dragon lady.

The SHO warned me to stay out of her way or risk physical and mental harm. Legend has it that dragon lady once threw a metal cusco speculum across the room to an unsuspecting medical student. I did some stretches beforehand just in case I had to duck and avoid any instrumentation thrown at me.

I kept a safe distance from her, careful not to get burnt by her fiery breath. I was gloved and holding a speculum, ready for my first vaginal exam.

The prospect of putting your finger up in a woman's vagina was less unnerving than the stare I got from the dragon lady when she noticed me.

She had smelt her pray.

"Who are you?" she asked as sparks flew out of her nostrils (just go with it)"

I'm a mm-medical student, my name is..."

"Do you think I care what your name is?"

"errr.."

"What do you think you’re doing with that speculum?! Do you expect to do an exam on this lady? Have you even asked my permission?!!"

My knees went weak. I kept silent.

"Well no use just standing there, get to it!!"

I scurried to the operating table and inspected the patient's vulva. It was normal. The speculum exam was also normal, no signs of uterine prolapse.

Then came the vaginal exam. I parted the labia with my left hand. I then inserted one finger, followed by another into her vagina. It was very uncomfortable and I couldn’t tell what I was doing.

Then came the questions. "So what’s the normal size of a uterus?"

I had no clue. Blank face.

“Are you listening to me?”

“Erm, I don’t k-know”

The Dragon Lady didn’t flinch or look at me.

My eyes were on her hands, ready to duck at any sudden move she made. Somebody gonna get hurt real bad.

Then came the surprise

"That’s actually a very good answer" she said.

My face was like “huh?”

"Too many doctors nowadays pretend to know stuff when they're really better off admitting they're human"...

My ignorance finally paid off.

Saying I don’t know actually saved my life.