Bruised Cojones

Professor Foley is a brilliant tutor. His algorithms and approach towards tackling the final OSCEs are nothing short of genius. However, it all comes with a price..

Being the old-school professor he is, fear and abuse is an integral part of his teaching methods.

As per usual, I somehow drew the short straw and was forced to present a history during his weekly tutorial.

Foley: do you know what cojones is?

Me: err-

Foley: Balls! It’s Spanish for balls!

Me: err-

Foley: Right, to do well in the exams, you’ve got to have cojones. If you get nothing else from today, get that point in your head.

Me: Right. (knees starting to buckle) So I’d like to present the case of Mrs. UF, a 52 year old married probation officer from Carlo, who is para 3+0, with her last menstrual period on the 6/5/11. Mrs UF is in the hospital for an elective vaginal hysterectomy....

And then it began. I was tortured for almost an hour, as my colleagues could only stare and take notes. It was all they could probably do as Foley tore me apart, delivering blow after blow to my cojones.

I took one for the team, as the rest of the class took really useful notes on what not to do during the exam day. By the end of the session, my balls were as sore as hell.