Another day...

Medical Hierarchy

At the top of the food chain is the consultant. He comes in twice a week to review the patients under his care. I met him for the first time today. He was wearing a pinstriped grey suit, with a bright purple shirt and tie. Eccentric to say the least. Definitely a big-shot. With an unmistakeable American accent, he calls most of the shots in deciding the best way to treat these cancer patients. Whether it was to enrol them in a drug trial, or to defer them to the surgical team, he definitely had an aura of authority.

The specialist registrar, Dr Giuseppe Gullow was second in command. He is around most of the days, and also handles the clinic. The first thing I noticed about him was his attire. This guy knew how to dress well. Oh, and he’s from Milan.

The SHO which I am currently attached to is Dr Janus something. Polish. And his breath smells. But overall he’s definitely a nice guy. Always ready to teach and test my knowledge.

At the bottom of the food chain is the intern, Tom Drew. When he bends over, you can almost bet that you’ll see into his butt crack. Believe it. I’ve actually grown used to it. Tom has made life as a medical student bearable. Whether its sharing tips for the exam, doing procedures I shouldn’t be doing, as well as finding the best patients for me to examine, Tom never lets me down.

Of course, the last in the lot, the medical student. Me. So in a regular ward round, Dr Gullow will strut around in his expensive suit, followed by Janus in his Tommy Hilfiger khakis, Tom with his shirt half tucked in, and me in my white lab coat. There you go.

Lunch

“There are three types of traditional Italian pizza,” explained Dr Gullow while sipping his smoothie. Tom was busy texting. Janus and I were listening intently.

As I was emptying my third sugar packet into my cup of tea (I like ‘em sweet), Gullow had since moved on to bashing Americans for spoiling the word ‘pepperoni’ which meant ‘peppers’ in Italian as opposed to the round thin meat slices pun on the regular beef pepperoni pizza.

“How could you spoil a pizza with pineapple, anchovies, ......” BEEP BEEP BEEP!!

All three pagers went off at once.

“CARDIAC ARREST IN ST ANNES,” cried one of the interns on the cardio team. That was my ward. In less than a second, my table was empty. Janus, Tom and Gullow were in full flight towards the ward. I noticed than Gullow brought his smoothie along. I too wasn’t finished with my tea. I had taken only one sip. I guess I’ll bring it along as well.

Huge mistake. The minute I started walking, the cover on my cup fell off. I didn’t notice until tea was splashing onto my hands. It hurt like hell. I wanted to scream. I dashed toward the nearest bin and threw it all in, spilling more in the process.

I couldn’t care less. I had to make up ground to catch up with the team. Bloody embarrassing!

When I arrived in the ward, the cardiac emergency team was already set up. One intern was doing CPR. The patient was unconscious and unresponsive. He was in V-Fib, so they shocked him. His left umbilical hernia was flopping up and down while the intern was doing chest compresses.

“Clear” screamed the doctor in charge. They shocked him four times. I was pushed out of the way as the room was too small to accommodate a lowly medical student such as myself. I have a feeling that he didn’t make it through the night. Welcome to my life...