Dean the intern was really into teaching us the 'practical' bit of being a physician. He had us running around putting cannulas in and taking consents from patients undergoing minor procedures.
I was asked to obtain consent from Mr AR, who was due to have a left sided colonoscopy later in the evening.
He was sitting on a chair right beside the bed looking lucid and alert. I noticed that he had a really thick moustache which was covering his upper lip.
"Mr R, we're basically going to put a camera through your back passage to have a look at your bowels. You will be sedated for this procedure and will feel groggy. You will be concious enough so that you can adhere to our instructions as you will be lying on your side"
I asked if he understood what I had just explained.
"Hmmph," he mustered.
"As with all procedures there are some inherent risks associated with it. However I assure you that you are in good hands"
I raffled on about the potential complications of a colonoscopy.
Throughout the whole "consult", all he said was "hmmph".
At this point I was worried that I might've not explained the procedure well enough to warrant a signature of the consent form. Something was definitely off about the guy.
I asked for leave and went to seek Dean for help.
"Oh f*** it, I forgot to mention that AR had a squamous cell carcinoma removed from his upper lip. Yeah, he basically has no upper lip and can't really talk."
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