Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Hand's ON

In surgery, a medical student is expected to observe the ‘real’ surgeons do their jobs. The highest acclaim a student can ever achieve in an operating theatre is to be asked to scrub in. This entails passing on equipment to the surgeon, holding the suction device, or if one is very lucky, to complete the suturing.

While this may not sound so exciting, the rare chance to stand right next to the surgeon cutting open a person is a really profound learning experience. One can never read enough textbooks to describe the various methods of performing a CABG (google it), yet watching it ‘live’ suddenly makes all the words read come together, being imprinted permanently in one’s brain. It’s amazing how easy it is remembering a procedure seen compared to memorizing the steps off a book.

A real ‘hands-on’ experience

I was asked to scrub in for a pneumonectomy, an operation to remove one half of the lung. In that case, the patient had lung cancer which had spread thoughout his left (maybe it was right?) lung.

There were four people at the operating table. Two doctors, a nurse, and ME.

When I had finished scrubbing in, I was asked to stand right beside Mr Bartosik, the Polish cardiothoracic consultant, who was the boss doing most of the work. In order to remain sterile, it is general practice for student to put their hands on the patient’s gown to avoid unconsciously touching any unsterile surfaces.

I arrived at the table, feeling very excited, immediately resting my hands on the patient. I knew that it had to remain there for the next four hours.

Bartosik was an expert at what he did. He seamlessly exposed the lung with minimal bleeding. The heart was also exposed. Watching the human heart beat was riveting. It moved with extreme precision. Lub-dub, Lub-dub…

Suddenly my hands felt something move. I didn’t want to alarm Bartosik as his hands were deep into the patient’s chest. I shifted my attention to the patient. That’s when I realized what moved.

My hands were on his penis. Suddenly, four hours seemed like an eternity.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Frozen Brain Syndrome




“The patient presented with a central abdominal pain ra-..”

“Are you sure it is central?” asked the surgical tutor.

Twelve pairs of eyes were staring straight at me. I was put on the spot.

“Urm, it’s just above the umbilicus I guess,” I answered unsurely.

“Okay, what is ‘just above the umbilicus’ called in medical terms?” he asked, sensing that I was just waiting to be torn at.

“Erm, the right iliac fossa?”

“Release the hounds,” cried the Montgomery Burns residing in my head.


“First and foremost, she’s pointing to her left side,”


I heard a snicker in the background.

“Oh,” was all I could muster.

“SO, name me the nine quadrants of the abdomen,” he probed further.

It was as if the prior twelve intensive weeks of attachments counted for nothing. I was totally blank.

I couldn’t answer it even if my life had depended on it.

“Errrm” was fast becoming my trademark.

I was telepathically transmitting emergency SOS signals to my team-mates. Keith finally ended the fiasco.

“The nine quadrants are, ......” he uttered without even stuttering.




Bring out the anti-depressants


"It’s gonna be an easy week, make the most of it," was the first sentence I heard from the Plastics and Reconstruction team intern on my first day back after a relatively long hiatus from hospital work.

It was a surreal experience walking through the halls of St Vincents’, which was still looking merry with plenty of festive decorations hanging from the ceiling. Everyone seemed to be moving in slow motion, probably still hungover from celebrating New Year’s Day.

In a country that is already suffering economically with banks folding left and right, the recent weather disaster brought even more gloom to the people of Ireland. I can’t begin to describe the nightmare of spending the festive period in the hospital caring for a loved one who slipped on the icy roads and is now in a coma due to a brain injury. Those were just some of the depressing scenarios that were echoing throughout the wards in St Vincents. The emergency room casualty turnover was at its peak, as the aftermath of the lovely white snow bore its untold dangers. How’s that for drama?


Who the heck studies on the first day of term anyway.

Prof O Connor at the introductory lecture was at his threatening best.

"The results this year weren't even nearly as good as last. I’d have to say it was mediocre at best. Some of you didn't even make it. Therefore most of you will have to put in more work than you probably bargained for"

The room fell silent.

As we walked out of the lecture hall, Steven muttered to me,

"Time to bring out the anti depressants, it's gonna be a long 18 weeks"

Enough said

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Silent Killer (not diabetes)

It’s been awhile, partly due to the burden of having to speed through Legal and Forensic medicine in a mere three weeks. It’s still too early to laugh about the events that transpired during the OSCE exam. Though there were one or two gems worthy of being mentioned, I’ll leave the rest till after I (hopefully) pass with flying colours.

The Silent Killer

Seery, the respiratory consultant, is known for his charming smile, politeness and kind words. The man is loved by all, except when it comes to OSCEs.

When I walked into his station, I shuddered at the sight of him. I knew had to bring my A-game or risk being docked marks for the smallest of mistakes. There was no room for carelessness.

I spent the first few seconds observing the patient, not forgetting to count the respiratory rate. I counted the amount of breaths for the first ten seconds and multiplied it by six.

I finished the examination and was prompted to report my findings.

“Mr X is a middle aged man, lying comfortable on the bed with no obvious signs of respiratory distress. His respiratory rate was determined to be 16 breaths per minute which of is normal.”

“How did you get the respiratory rate?” he asked.

“I measured it for the first ten seconds and multiplied it by six,”

Swear words started to form in my head

“Okay, so you multiplied by six. And you got 16?”

As I started to scramble for answers, the audible scratch marks of the silent killer’s pen filled the already silent room.